Wednesday, February 18, 2009

7-11 = Good Times

Before I start, I need to give an update - I am 9 days into my new "Eating Habits" and have lost 12 pounds. A couple more pounds and I may go "Shirt Off" around the neighborhood.

Anyway, I thought that I'd try to reconstruct a conversation that I witnessed at 7-11 with a less than fortunate cashier and a somewhat mentally unstable customer. I was 3rd in line yesterday waiting to pay for a drink refill. The gentleman in front of me was in line to buy a paper.
The customer at the register was a 50 something woman who had seen better days. She was wearing "mom" jeans. You know, the pleated pants that are pulled up about 4 inches above the belly button. She had no socks on and wearing Kaepa tennis shoes that were once white, but now more of a brownish gray. Her sweater was a bit worn and covered with what I assume was an animal hair of some sort. She also seemed to have problem keeping her teeth in place when she talked. I assume that her dentures may have belonged to someone else, but that's not for me to judge. OK. Stage set. Here's the conversation:

Woman: "I'll take two packs of Merits and 5 of those scratch offs. Wait, I'll have 3 of the "Texas Tornado's" and couple of those new ones there."

Cashier: "That'll be $XX.XX."

Woman: Pays the cashier and then says, "Honey. I said I want a carton of Merits, not 2 packs."

Cashier: "We don't have a carton of Merits. We don't really sell many cartons here. Mostly packs."

Woman: (As she is scratching her lottery tickets) - "What do you have in cartons?"

Cashier: (Gets on his hands and knees and opens up the locked cabinets and proceeds to name all of the cartons that he does have).

Woman: "Is that all you have? Why don't you sell cartons? Oh, Here's a winner. OK. cash in this ticket and give me my money back. I'll just go somewhere that wants my business."

Cashier: Returns her money and cashes her lottery ticket (for $5).

Keep in mind that the two of us are standing behind her waiting to buy 1 item each. The guy looks at me and says, "This is freakin' ridiculous!".
Back to the story:

Woman: "Give me 5 more scratch offs. Hey, what about "Basics". I'll take a carton of "Basics"."

Cashier: "Ma'am, we don't have a carton of Basics. I told you what we had in cartons."

Woman: "I can't believe that you don't have anything in cartons. OK. I'll just get my gas and go.

Cashier: "You haven't paid for any gas yet. How much do you want?"

Woman: "Just use the money that I got for my scratch off."

Cashier: "You bought more tickets with that."

Woman: "Oh, OK. Let me scratch these off and I'll see how much gas I can get."

Man in front of me: "For the love of God, can you just ring me up for this #$%&$#@ Paper?"

Woman: Scratches off tickets and doesn't have any "winners". "I don't have any more money. Now I can't get gas".

Cashier: "What about the money you had for cigarettes?"

Woman: "Those are still for cigarettes?"

Man in front of me: "This is unbelievable! Lady, either pay the man or just go?"

Woman: Storms out of the store and says, "If you're in that much of a hurry, why don't you just leave lunch?"

I looked at the cashier and said, "What does that mean?"

He shrugged his shoulders and told me that the drink was "On the house". I left with a free drink and great story.

4 comments:

ryan said...

GENIUS!!
Seriously, great story.
And I'm glad that I've found your blog. Rock on.

Kimberly said...

Hi Tim-
Love the blog! I thought I was the only one who gets stuck behind the buy-and-scratch-on-the-spot lottery fools. Maybe we could start a petition to outlaw lottery sales at convenience stores. Nah, would never work.

Congrats on your new job!
Kimberly K.

Derek said...

HI-larious!! I would write more, but I am late to go leave lunch.

Joe Smart said...

Cigarettes and Lottery = tax on idiots